things i learned by watching way too much biography channel over the weekend

1. most people who end up famous put on variety shows for their families after dinner. these people scare me.

2. just because you were once on a show with someone who later went on to become mega-talented and mega-famous, you do not get to take any responsibility for that person's success. i'm looking at you, alan thicke.

3. i'm very concerned about middle-aged people obsessing about the love lives of teenagers. seriously, where did your careers go wrong?

4. if you work for parade magazine, chances are you wear far too many mismatching articles of clothing and accessories. blouse + jacket + tie + feathered hair + lapel pin = bleeechhhh.

5. the shamwow really is as fantastic as that spiky-haired guy makes it sound. i swear.

random photo monday: epic battle

here, bronson proves that he can also watch tv while attempting to destroy the kittendog. such a good little multi-tasker.

random photo monday: jersey shore

i'm only posting this photo because it reminds me that it will once again be warm outside...eventually. but, this scene also kind of ticks me off right now, since it also reminds me that i moved far away from my jersey-then-indiana roots to arizona, where i thought it would be warm all the time, and it is currently freezing outside and there is snow in the forecast...again.

ok, seriously

i know i've talked about this before, but come on, people. stop encouraging the overpopulation problem. i'm looking at you, duggar family. as if it wasn't not bad enough that you already had 17 kids, or that TLC saw fit to glamorize this dire situation by giving you people a television show, such that you now have your own public relations overseers, you keep freaking, well, freaking, and even now, after 18 children, you still want more. form a support group with angelina jolie, people. move far away and start your own country. and for god's sake, name a child with a letter other than J.

and jim bob? please close your mouth and breathe through your nose.

champagne thursday: toast #31

since we're telling everyone else now, i guess it's time to announce to the internet that the husband and i are expecting...and no, it's not a dog, a cat, or even a goat, although i'm sure my husband will continue to campaign for that one. so, there will be no real champagne for me until sometime after july 16. what's worse - no guinness for me until then either. it's like a real life episode of survivor in my house.

and ps, that is the meaning behind the fruit-based masthead this month. every week, i get an update on what kind of seed or bean or fruit my growing child has just become, and it is a little creepy, don't you think?

things i love wednesday: products you just know were developed by men

as annoying as the ads on facebook are (seriously with the acai berries already...if it's a diet product endorsed by oprah, i don't freaking want it), sometimes they are pure gold. like this one for candles. but not just any candles. candles that smell like strippers and beer...and urinal cakes. because all guys can ever talk about after using a public restroom is how great the urinal cakes smell. honestly, these things kind of make my skin crawl. and therefore, i will be buying them for everyone i know for christmas.

random photo monday: puerto rico is scary

so, we're having some drinks at a bar in old san juan during a ridiculously long layover in puerto rico on our way to st. kitts back in august. i go to use the restroom, and this is what i find inside. i don't know what this door's purpose is, but i would bet it is not something that would be considered legal on the mainland...

champagne thursday: toast #30

this week's toast goes out to ME, because, i don't know if you know this, but everything's coming up roses lately. got word the other day that i passed a little thing called the MPRE, which means that all i have to do now is sit back and wait for the arizona bar to shuffle some paperwork, and little old me will actually be a fully licensed attorney (one with extremely bad grammar today, apparently). of course, i won't mention that i graduated from law school three years ago to the week...that's just superfluous information...

random photo monday: fun at the office

when we first got the kittendog, we took her to work most days because she was tiny and cute and we couldn't bear the thought of the dogbeasts possibly devouring her while we were away. of course, these days, we leave her at home, marinated in beef broth and covered with meaty bone breadcrumbs, hoping the dogs will take care of the evil minion of the underworld. but, there was a time when we just couldn't get enough of the fuzzy little hellcat, which was when i took this picture of her. she used to climb on top of my desk and sleep under my computer, in a spot dubbed the "catport" by my mother, aka our office assistant extraordinaire.

champagne thursday: toast #29

i'm not really sure why every show i love has to be canceled, but apparently, i am a curse to television. at least boston legal, easily the smartest and funniest show currently on tv, is going out with their usual style. the husband and i nearly passed out laughing last night watching this week's episode, full of self-deprecating remarks, shots at network executives and fourth wall comments. absolutely the greatest show that has been on tv in years, and once again, i ruined it for everybody with my apparent kiss of death. sadpants.

things i love wednesday: change of plea day

wednesday is change of plea day in our little world, and that is probably why i talk about my favorite things on wednesdays - because, i don't know about you, but being a part of people pleading guilty to crimes is just a surefire way to put a smile on my face at 8:30 am, where surefire = not sarcastic at all.

ps, i don't know if you've met any teenagers lately, but if you haven't, let me assure you that they are even more super fabulous than you remember being at that age, where super fabulous = ugh with the bershon already.

random photo monday: postcard

i took this photo in killington the first christmas break that the husband and i were dating. looking at this picture now makes me really, really excited to not live anywhere that it snows anymore. even if it is ridiculously pretty.