just in case you weren't aware

i am currently not in phoenix or tucson taking the bar exam. why, you ask? because i finally effing passed the effing thing. commence bonfire of the bar review books.

champagne thursday: toast #30

this week's toast goes out to ME, because, i don't know if you know this, but everything's coming up roses lately. got word the other day that i passed a little thing called the MPRE, which means that all i have to do now is sit back and wait for the arizona bar to shuffle some paperwork, and little old me will actually be a fully licensed attorney (one with extremely bad grammar today, apparently). of course, i won't mention that i graduated from law school three years ago to the week...that's just superfluous information...

this just makes me sad

why do i always have to live in places where my vote means squat compared to the ridiculous masses? see: this poll.

(but at least i found another use for my fruitless endeavor post tag!)

hell froze over today

in other words, i actually passed the frickinfrackinmothereffing bar exam. yes, yes i did. pass rate was the highest it had been in years, but i'll take what i can damn well get. commence celebratory drinking - for once, instead of drownmysorrows drinking.

i guess this will be the last time i use the "fruitless endeavors" post tag...weird.

things i love wednesday: being done with bar exam

i'm not sure there is a feeling anywhere in the world that is better than the feeling you get when you push past the double doors to make the trek back to your car after your final session of the bar exam...passing probably feels pretty good, but i wouldn't know anything about that. for now, i am just loving being done with the damn thing.

and also, these bags from trader joe's:and also, these beers from trader joe's:and also, the fact that the first picture of the beers from trader joe's turned out like this:
and also, trader joe's. must. get. one. in. my. town.

seriously, last post until after stupid exam

while i may not have gotten the whole "passing" part down, i've certainly nailed the part about packing for the damn bar exam. below is a list of some bare essentials.

kitchen supplies:

1 12-pack of newcastle, which will likely be replenished by tuesday

1 1/2 gallon of skim milk that your husband won't let you keep in the house

1 quart half and half for coffee

1 canister coffee with built-in filters

1 box splenda sweetener

2 12-packs of soda

1 gallon of orange juice, so you can pretend to be healthy

2 gallons of water

3 hot pockets

2 chicken pot pies

2 frozen panini sandwiches

1 box frozen mac & cheese

1 box pop-tarts, brown sugar & cinnamon

4 cups of yogurt

1 box of wheat thins, reduced fat (read: lots of newcastle to balance out)

2 cans of chef boyardee

1 box of cinnamon toast crunch, for the kid in ya

1 box of those ridiculously delicious frozen mini eclairs

bathroom supplies:

1 pack of toilet paper, b/c 5 days with hotel toilet paper = no thanks, mister

1 box puffs, b/c 5 days with hotel tissues + me = red, peeling nose

1 tube foot scrub

1 new pumice stone

2 fancy shower gels from lush

1 set of fructis shampoo and conditioner, b/c you can't figure out how to bring your lush bars

1 shower puff, b/c washcloths = for old people and men

1 box bath salts, b/c dude, i got me a hotel with a whirlpool tub

at least 3 kinds of face wash, b/c apparently i am still recovering from camping skin

1 hair straightener, b/c sometimes you feel like you're smarter when you're prettier

technology supplies:

1 brick of a windows vista laptop, b/c bar exam is not mac-compatible

1 macbook, b/c hello? you need to stick with your true love

1 phone charger

1 ipod plus usb cord for computer

miscellaneous supplies:

4 seasons of gilmore girls dvds

1 candle

1 ridiculously large stack of bar review materials

heads up

i'll be in tucson beginning sunday to once again take part in self-flagellation the bar exam process self-flagellation, which means i will likely be incommunicado, particularly since i will be using a crappy windows vista machine instead of my lovely macbook (do shout outs to apple garner me free schwag? because that would be fantastic).

in the meantime, stay entertained by reading truly great blogs, such as dooce, bossy and this mcdowell guy i know who apparently has so much time on his hands while waiting for baby that he continues to upgrade his already fabulously designed site.

things you can do to put off studying for the bar

1. search frantically for four cds you have been missing for approximately 2 years, even though you do have them downloaded to your itunes.

2. search frantically for those dumbbells you know you have but haven't been able to find since your renter moved in and you had to take them out of the guest room dresser. a year ago.

3. blow up core ball, because at least you can find that.

4. yell at dogs and cat for trying to play with core ball.

5. donate television, entertainment center and cucumber water to local charity yard sale.

6. think about how much you really need to rectify the situation that is your hellhole of a home office.

7. listen to hour-long dooce interview.

8. look up tori & dean's b&b in fallbrook, california to see if it still exists even though they're not running it.

9. google iphone cases that do not block proximity sensor so husband will stop freaking out about not being able to hang up the phone.

10. spend 15 minutes trying to remember all the ways you have procrastinated so you can publish that list to your blog.

mixed bag

today, i was finally certified to once again sit for the bar exam. this made me happy. and then depressed. and then a little anxious, but in a good way. and then quite anxious, and in a bad way.

have i mentioned that this is my least favorite thing to do in the world?

side note: it does make me rather gleeful to know that i have been certified to sit. let me say that again: certified. to sit. think on that for a bit.

things i love wednesday: degrading document titles

i may have mentioned in passing that i failed the effing bar exam for the 4th time recently. to rub a little salt in my freshly reopened wound, i got an email telling me that i had also failed to properly fill out the form to apply to take the damn thing again, and a new copy of the document was attached as follows:

does anybody else think i should get one free "kick-em-in-the-teeth" card for this??

things i love wednesday: taking the effing bar exam

so, i guess i've decided to take the bar exam again? as in, i seem to have made this decision without really realizing i'd made this decision? and i can't stop speaking in question marks because of it?

actually, entire decision seems to have hinged upon whether micromash would update the 2300 multiple choice questions you have to answer for their handy dandy little pass/update or pass/refund guarantee.

helpful hint: they do not, at least not for every exam, only for each calendar year.

because i have a nearly-photographic memory when it comes to these kinds of things (and yet, obviously not the volumes upon volumes of law books and exam review guides that you would think would help to garner me a measly damn 13 points), answering the same 2300 questions all over again would be totally pointless.

which is a looooong way of saying, i'm getting a refund for all the money i wasted on that review course in the first place^*, which means i can pay for a new review course (because i just haven't tried them all yet! but almost!), the exam and a hotel stay during the exam, and i will break even.

financially. not emotionally.

somehow, this justification is working for me, so please don't burst my sad little bubble.

^*in all fairness, i should point out that i really liked this review course while i was using it. for some reason, though, i'm not too pleased with the results...

for the record...#4

i'm really sick to death of having two weeks to decide whether i want to continue the masochistic experiment i like to call the bar exam. every time i get the results, my first instinct is to walk away and go in a different direction, followed closely by the realization that i will, in fact, take the damn thing, most likely up until the day before the world gets swallowed by a giant space octopus. which is then followed by sending in another hefty check to the fine folks at the supreme court and making expensive hotel reservations.

because i am, of course, failing by only a handful of points.

and it seems within reach.

but after taking it four times with nearly the same results, i'm starting to feel like the definition of insanity.

for the record...#2

whatever mystical comic genius decided it was a good idea for me to turn 29, likely attain my 4th bar failure and get my lovely monthly visitor all in the same week is truly on my shit list.

for the record...

when someone has taken a certain exam multiple times and that same someone has "failed to achieve a passing score" on said exam, it is NOT. COOL. to continually ask that someone if she thinks she passed it this time. particularly when the results are not due for another month.