whiticism: overheard in the whitney house: baby names

Friday, July 23, 2010

overheard in the whitney house: baby names

me (sternly): langley piper! when you act this way, it makes me think we shouldn't have given you such a sweet name. we should have given you an evil name…like "fangley viper."

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abouticism

i live in arizona with four dogs, a kittendog and a ~~caveman~~ husband. he breaks stuff. and then burns it. the dogs break stuff too, but that is because they are velociraptors, and that just isn't their fault. the kittendog is pure evil, and we blame that on her being raised by dogs, but we don't blame ourselves for allowing that to happen.

i finally passed the bar after nearly three years of humiliation, self-degradation and fee-induced poverty. just in time to be pregnant and unable to practice law due to the 24-hour headache that renders me useless, lying on the couch with ice packs on my head and neck.

i enjoy music, and i cannot believe i married a man who listens to people who call themselves "lil this" and "big that." it frightens me to think of him someday driving our children to school while blasting such nonsense. i have considered prohibiting him from even speaking to our child until he or she graduates from college.

i do not have pretty feet, and i feel guilty every time i get a pedicure for the sheer fact of forcing others to look at them.

i will not watch a movie or tv show if there is any chance that anything bad will happen to any animal. yet, mass killings of women and children apparently are not a problem for me.

i cannot talk to people who say things such as "them are going to piss me off" or "this car needs cleaned," but i do not have a problem with writing completely in lower case. i do, however, have a problem with those who WRITE IN ALL CAPS TILL THE COWS COME HOME, AND WHY THE HELL DO THEY KEEP YELLING AT ME?

you can contact me, if you must, at whiticism at yahoo dot com.

Friday, July 23, 2010

overheard in the whitney house: baby names

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