umm...

dear arizona,

even IOWA thinks you're crazy. just thought you might like to know.

the boognish chronicles: part 6

dear little boognish,

it’s been a few weeks now since we found out you are a girl child, so i guess i should probably be using your name: langley piper. however, i made your uncle a promise back when i first told him i was pregnant, and that promise was that your nickname would forever be boognish. why, you ask? it’s a ween thing, and if you know your mama at all, you should know that promises i make to your uncle that in any way involve ween can never be broken. the last one was that i wouldn’t make a big gushy speech about him at your dad’s and my wedding. i stuck to that one and, dammit, i’m sticking to this one too, even if it makes your dad want to stick hot pokers in my eyes. besides, your grandmother nicknamed her kids bear, tank and chunk, so i think you’re getting off pretty easy. at least boognish doesn’t denote some kind of infant chubbiness issue.

your name was chosen within 48 hours of that last ultrasound. maybe that sounds like we made a rash decision, but i assure you, when it comes to names, mama and papa like to belabor things quite a bit. i literally thumbed through every page of the girl section of a baby name book that some friends gave us and many of the boy pages as well. we shouted names out to each other across the house, making disgusted faces through the walls when we hated what we heard, which was often. we kept coming back to langley and another name, which i won’t divulge here. then, all of a sudden, your dad put langley with piper, a name i have always loved but, when i mentioned it months earlier, he looked at me as though i’d suggested we name our child anthrax. now he said he’d come around, and the two names together made us both so happy that he, of course, started calling everyone we know to tell them your name, over my protests. luckily, we haven’t had too many people completely lambaste us for being crazed hippies or indulgent yuppies or anything else yet, so i haven’t had to punch anyone until they cried.

in a few more weeks, we get to go for the super creepy/awesome 3D ultrasound, and we’re completely psyched to get to see you in a way that doesn’t make you look like an alien swimming in a black swamp. hopefully you’ll cooperate a little more for that one than you have in the past. it took the tech the entire session to determine that you were a girl the last time because you kept sitting with your feet underneath your rump and doing everything you could to keep us guessing. here’s the story, kid: mama has been dealing with a headache for months and, more recently, been forced to contort my body for hours trying to ease the numbness and tingling in my left side, making it impossible to get a good night’s sleep. you gotta throw me a bone here. show me that you’re kicking around in there, and show me your little face, and everything will be kosher. otherwise, it’s lots of indian and thai food from here on out…

love,
mamadog

champagne thursday: toast #35

okay republicans. you're right. national health care, a.k.a. socialism, is what will destroy our country. not the fact that the homeless and mentally ill have no place to turn for help besides hospital emergency rooms...

things i love wednesday: when the kittendog isn't an evil, maniacal hellcat

so sweet...so innocent...so much bullshit. the dirty feet tell the real story...

random photo monday: no dogs were harmed...

the husband took the dogs to a nearby trail two-by-two yesterday, and during bronson and teagan's turn, they found a giant snake:

which, apparently, makes the dogs' faces explode with pure joy:

the boognish chronicles: part 5

posting this about a week late. 24 weeks and growing exponentially. bronson inserted his nose into the picture to better illustrate scale.

things i love wednesday: having a non-self-cleaning oven

yesterday, even though i was ridiculously sick and hadn't slept more than 30 minutes at a time the night before, i cleaned our oven. i say this as though it were a huge undertaking because, quite frankly, it was. i hadn't realized the true beauty of self-cleaning ovens i'd owned in the past. after two hours of heating and scrubbing and possibly infecting the baby with the scent of oven cleaner for life, i vowed never to so much as buy a house that included a non-self-cleaning oven ever, ever again. (because it certainly couldn't have been so bad simply because we've owned the house for over three years and have never cleaned the damn thing.) before i showed the husband, he reminded me that he probably didn't know how bad it was before i cleaned it, so he might not be overly impressed. then i opened the oven door, and he fell over dead. we never knew the interior of the oven was blue with white speckles...

random photo monday: phish at hampton

for three days last weekend, this was my home for many, many hours. there was much standing, much waiting, much annoyance at the level of intoxication of others while i was forced to drink barq's root beer and water, but there was also an incredible deal of fun, dancing and rejoice at the reunion of a fantastic band that i've been listening to for over 15 years. and then, there were the swollen feet, ankles and calves...ahh, the joys of pregnancy.

ps...langley piper had a kick-ass time at her first three rock shows. i think her musical education is coming along quite nicely.

champagne thursday: toast #34

in "who'd have guessed it" news, bristol palin and her babydaddy levi have broken their sham engagement. the article states that they "mutually decided to end their relationship awhile ago," where "awhile ago" = two seconds after the strip turned pink.

random photo monday: high tech baby monitor

this is how teagan plans to act as our living, breathing baby monitor: stare intently and then run to mom and dad if ANYthing moves...i'm sure it will be extremely helpful.

it's a girl!

the tech labeled this picture before we found out the sex, but we now know we are having a girl, and she is very, very tough!

just in case you weren't aware

i am currently not in phoenix or tucson taking the bar exam. why, you ask? because i finally effing passed the effing thing. commence bonfire of the bar review books.

random photo monday: baby picture

ran across this baby picture of mine this weekend, and it kind of terrifies me to realize that i'm going to have one of these soon...

the boognish chronicles: part 4

dear little boognish,

today might just be the last friday that we don’t know if we’re having a girl or a boy. next friday we’ll be having our second ultrasound, and since that day will mark about 20 ½ weeks that you’ve existed, we should be able to see what’s going on down there. this will thrill papadog no end, because he has been champing at the bit to unpack your crib and other furniture, and i won’t let him until we know which room we need to turn into the nursery. not that I have a huge problem with a girl growing up in a deep blue bedroom, but your dad might take exception to a boy living in a lilac room...it really wouldn’t go with all the red sox and patriots gear your grandfather has almost certainly purchased already.

you might be noticing that it’s been a few months since i’ve written to you, and i have to tell you, it’s really your fault. i would soften that blow if i could, but let’s just say that mama has had a splitting, piercing, throbbing, mind numbing headache since november, and i really can’t think of a nicer way to put things today. fortunately, the only times you’ve made me get sick have been just a couple of times while i was brushing my teeth. UNfortunately, i really love brushing my teeth, and you’ve made me a bit terrified to do it as often as i always do. this has gotten better over the months though, so we’re making progress on that front at least.

we got to see you for the first time january 9, when we were about 13 weeks along. the ultrasound technician was a truly horrible person, and she kept yelling at us for coming in so early in the pregnancy because “we wouldn’t be able to see anything yet.” she was tons of fun. as soon as she touched that little wand to my skin, though, we could both see you squirming around in there, and it was the most thrilling thing in the world. i guess the tech thought we only cared about finding out the gender, and it was too early for that, but we just wanted to see you, to know that you were truly in there kicking around and thriving. we saw everything we needed to see. you looked like a little acrobat in there, which makes me worry about later in the pregnancy when i’m able to feel all of that movement. i’m thinking you might make all of my organs a little seasick, but that’s fine by me.

you’re definitely making yourself known in the visual department, even if i can’t quite feel you yet. our obstetrician laughed at me at our last appointment because i told him i was excited to finally be getting bigger. he said he doesn’t get that a lot, but honestly, i don’t know who would prefer people thinking they had just packed on a bunch of pounds instead of that they were pregnant. also, i’ve become a huge fan of maternity clothes and it helps to have a bit of a belly to fill them out so they don’t look completely ridiculous. i’ll do anything for stretchy waistbands these days, and papadog’s just pleased to see me in anything other than sweats.

so, here’s hoping that we get some more information about you next week, and we get to start fighting over what to name you. your dad keeps trying to talk me into letting him name you if you’re a boy and i would name you if you’re a girl. but since he hates every girl name I love and thinks fuquan is an acceptable name for a boy, i’m thinking i’m just going to fill out the birth certificate when i send him out for guinness.

love,
mamadog

ps, if your name is fuquan, i’m sorry i failed you. i must have been given some damn good drugs the day you were born.

the boognish chronicles: part 3

19 weeks and 165 burritos down.