Friday, April 3, 2009

the boognish chronicles: part 6

dear little boognish,

it’s been a few weeks now since we found out you are a girl child, so i guess i should probably be using your name: langley piper. however, i made your uncle a promise back when i first told him i was pregnant, and that promise was that your nickname would forever be boognish. why, you ask? it’s a ween thing, and if you know your mama at all, you should know that promises i make to your uncle that in any way involve ween can never be broken. the last one was that i wouldn’t make a big gushy speech about him at your dad’s and my wedding. i stuck to that one and, dammit, i’m sticking to this one too, even if it makes your dad want to stick hot pokers in my eyes. besides, your grandmother nicknamed her kids bear, tank and chunk, so i think you’re getting off pretty easy. at least boognish doesn’t denote some kind of infant chubbiness issue.

your name was chosen within 48 hours of that last ultrasound. maybe that sounds like we made a rash decision, but i assure you, when it comes to names, mama and papa like to belabor things quite a bit. i literally thumbed through every page of the girl section of a baby name book that some friends gave us and many of the boy pages as well. we shouted names out to each other across the house, making disgusted faces through the walls when we hated what we heard, which was often. we kept coming back to langley and another name, which i won’t divulge here. then, all of a sudden, your dad put langley with piper, a name i have always loved but, when i mentioned it months earlier, he looked at me as though i’d suggested we name our child anthrax. now he said he’d come around, and the two names together made us both so happy that he, of course, started calling everyone we know to tell them your name, over my protests. luckily, we haven’t had too many people completely lambaste us for being crazed hippies or indulgent yuppies or anything else yet, so i haven’t had to punch anyone until they cried.

in a few more weeks, we get to go for the super creepy/awesome 3D ultrasound, and we’re completely psyched to get to see you in a way that doesn’t make you look like an alien swimming in a black swamp. hopefully you’ll cooperate a little more for that one than you have in the past. it took the tech the entire session to determine that you were a girl the last time because you kept sitting with your feet underneath your rump and doing everything you could to keep us guessing. here’s the story, kid: mama has been dealing with a headache for months and, more recently, been forced to contort my body for hours trying to ease the numbness and tingling in my left side, making it impossible to get a good night’s sleep. you gotta throw me a bone here. show me that you’re kicking around in there, and show me your little face, and everything will be kosher. otherwise, it’s lots of indian and thai food from here on out…