random photo monday: christmas is overwhelming

i'm calling this LP's "holy shit, it's christmas" look.

random photo monday: impromptu nap

bryan took this short video when i fell asleep on the couch yesterday. i had no idea the cat had decided to join me.

random photo monday: baby it's cold outside

when the weather turns chilly, aiko refuses to go outdoors and just wraps up in blankets near the fire.

random photo monday: stranglebath

so, bryan took photos of LP getting a bath one day, and they all turned out like this:

why does it have to look like i'm strangling my baby? i swear i'm not! that's just the only way to take care of the spoiled milk neck!

overheard in the whitney house: baby paraphernalia

in the category of "things you never thought you'd hear a man say:"

bryan: ugh, i hate these nipples! it's too hard to tell what kind they are!

for those who are offended

i received this comment on one of my posts a couple of weeks ago, and it took me until today to decide to publish it and then to respond to it.

Gently, because I know you mean absolutely no harm: you may want to reconsider your header, before a parent of a baby with cerebral palsy or another crawling-limiting motor condition sees it.

okay, so i can completely appreciate that someone is looking out for the parents of those with debilitating infirmities, and it makes me strangely proud to see that someone outside my group of immediate family and friends is paying any attention to this little site, but come on!

here's the deal: i live in a house that is under 2000 square feet with four dogs, a kittendogdisaster, a husband and 8000 pieces of technogeek equipment. none of these things are babyproofed, nor do i think they are necessarily capable of being babyproofed, particularly bronson. the last time a child ran through our house, bryan and i looked on in horror as we realized our house was full of fire pokers and sharp corners and quicksand and godknowswhat. these things are what make me terrified of the concept of langley learning to crawl and why i am savoring these days of immobility. because very, very soon i will have to envelop that child in bubble wrap and hope for the best. with any luck, she'll make it through her toddlerhood covered only in dog spit and not scars from cracking her head open on the concrete floors.

i hope this addresses any concerns that i might be trying to poke fun or that i might not be sensitive to the plights of others. sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, folks.

random photo monday: flying baby

coming in for a landing on crazy papadog.

there is nothing sadder...

...than a baby with a cold. except, maybe, a mother with a nasty cold trying to take care of a baby with a cold. at least she's still able to smile and laugh at all my stupid tricks. hopefully posting will pick up after everybody in the house is feeling better.

random photo monday: cutest. hat. ever.

i think i'm going to make her wear this hat until she goes off to college. and she will like it. or else.

langley at five months

november 10, 2009

dear little boognish,

so, you might have noticed i’m a little late with your five-month letter. yeah, well, i told daddy he should do it this month, but then he had no time because we have a five-month-old baby. and then i had no time because we have a five-month-old baby. and do you know what five-month-old babies do? they refuse to nap. ever. i can barely get through the day without naps but you seem perfectly happy to play and laugh and wiggle and squinch all day long, stopping only occasionally to rub your eyes and beg for sleep and then refuse it when it’s offered to you.

in the past month, you’ve become much more aware of the zoo in which we live. you pull on malichai’s fur and ears, and at least once you punched him in the eye. he didn’t even get mad, which is incredible. i think he knows you’re his third pack leader.

you also got a doorway jumper, and you’re a pretty big fan. you get those little legs swinging around underneath you, and you twist yourself around in circles for nearly a half hour at a time, which is like a lifetime to such a little kid. then you look straight at us like you’re about to do something magnificent and throw your face onto the side of the seat and suck on it until the thing is soaking wet. teething is awesome!

basically, our biggest role in your life these days is providing fingers for you to chomp on all day. you do it to gran too, to the point that her fingers hurt at the end of a day of hanging out with you. it’s quite mean, really. we should talk about that.

your uncle dave came to visit again, and you were a huge fan. you showed off all your tricks - laughing until you gave yourself the hiccups, sleeping through the night, the butt cannon (not the farting kind, but the wiggling kind with the sound effects - you know what i’m talking about). the only thing you didn’t show him was your poop face, which mama had promised him he’d get to witness. every day, you waited until he had left the house before you would do it, and it’s just not fair. everyone should get to witness the poop face. i keep trying to get it on video, and i swear i’ll be victorious one day, so watch out, future boyfriends! i might have some superb footage to embarrass my daughter with in front of you someday!

love,

mamadog

overheard in the whitney house: injuries

me: the first time she falls or hits something and gets a little scar, i’m going to be so upset.

bryan: it’ll be just like the first time i dropped my iphone.

random photo monday: johnny jump up

this is the first really active toy that LP has completely taken to. she actually really loves it, and she provides us with a lot of laughs when she's bobbing around in it.

things i love wednesday: tummy time

LP is getting better about being put on her tummy for longer periods of time, and this thing she does with her hands just kills me. i call it "hatching an evil plan."

overheard in the whitney house: future purchases

me to bryan: i gotta tell you baby, price isn't really what's keeping me out of the helicopter market.

random photo monday: chai loves LP

these two laid like this for a good 15 or 20 minutes the other day. love it.

langley at four months

dear little boognish,

you’re now four months old, and i swear, you are just a whole new baby. you’re sleeping through the night most of the time, and we just love you for it. you wake up every morning with the biggest smile on your face, like you just can’t wait to start your big, exciting day. it makes it really hard to be upset about never being able to sleep in past 7 am.

your third month was a big one. you went camping with all of your dogs and mama and daddy in a big RV, and you got to see lots of bluegrass and quite a bit of hail. everybody in flagstaff thought your parents were crazy, but you were pretty cool with the whole situation. even though we had to practically smother you in sweatshirts and blankets every night, you seemed to enjoy yourself, and you didn’t even scream so much that our neighboring campers complained or moved away. i have to say, you made us very proud.

you’ve started staying with your gran a few days during the week so mama could go back to work, and you’re really loving it. most of the time, you come home pretty exhausted, which has definitely helped with that whole sleeping-through-the-night thing, and we’re in gran’s debt for it. you have no idea how much easier it is to be your mama when i’ve had more than five hours of sleep at a stretch. not that you’re a difficult baby to love, but just the same, i’d appreciate it if this trend could continue.

we’re starting to get a little worried about the upcoming weeks because somebody has decided to start teething pretty early. every morning when i get you out of bed, your sleeves are completely soaked because you’ve been sucking on them to get some relief from those budding teeth. you’re on this really wonky schedule some days, where you just try to sleep all day in between fits of uncontrollable screaming. it’s really enjoyable. most days you’re still pretty decent though, so we’re not quite ready to trade you in...yet.

it seems like every day you learn something new or are doing something better, like grasping objects with both hands and following people with your whole head when they walk by. you’ve even started paying more attention to the dogs lately, and man, are they excited about that. they absolutely can’t wait until you’re big enough to start playing with them. they already think you’re the coolest chick they know, so just imagine how happy they’ll be when you can interact with them. i’m just hoping that day comes soon and that it means mama can get a break from being shadowed 24 hours by four dogs, all forming a parade behind me as i wander from room to room. that’s why i decided to have kids - to distract the damn dogs.

love,

mamadog

things i love wednesday: making LP laugh

random photo monday: kittendog's new spot

it took four months, but kittendog has finally discovered that LP's crib might be a great place to catch a nap. at least she'll keep the baby warm...

things i love wednesday: this video

i really hate beyonce, but this baby cracks me up. i can't wait till langley can dance like this...but she'll do it to far better music.

UPDATE: apparently that video isn't viewable anymore, but i'm leaving it up in case it ever becomes so again because it is fantastic.

random photo monday: dogs love RVs...as long as they have beds

champagne thursday: toast #47

it's been a long time since i've posted anything because the whitney family thought it would be a fabulous idea to drive to flagstaff last friday, in two cars with four dogs and a baby, rent an RV and camp out at the annual Pickin' in the Pines event until monday. because we're just that ridiculous. and here's what our weekend looked like:

we had to bundle LP up at night because it was freezing, even though we were able to turn the heat on for short stretches.

we got to the show saturday just in time for it to spontaneously hail. lucky for langley, her car seat and stroller canopies acted together to fully enclose her in a little bubble of protection.

and finally, we learned that she is not so much a fan of eating outside. the concept was completely lost on her.

more photos to come...

things i love wednesday: this guy

i saw this guy at the dreaded wal-mart the other night, and his hairstyle almost made the trip worthwhile. i couldn't snap a photo surreptitiously, but this is an artist's rendering my really sad drawing:

thank you, crazy-haired wal-mart guy, for turning an otherwise depressing shopping experience into a truly enjoyable evening.

random photo monday: clean wine glasses

ever since langley was born and we got this handy drying rack for her bottles, suddenly mama doesn't battle daddy for who is going to hand wash and dry the "good" wine glasses. why does it seem like less of a pain just because there's a rack to dry them on? and what would child protective services say about this practice?

things i love wednesday: uninterrupted sleep!!!!

that headline really did require four exclamation points because LANGLEY SLEPT FOR EIGHT STRAIGHT HOURS LAST NIGHT!!!! i've never felt such unadulterated joy and restfulness. god, i love that child! here's hoping we can repeat this phenomenon every now and then...

langley at three months: introducing special guest author papadog

Dear Pipes,

You were officially 3 months old yesterday and my how far you and I have come. Long gone are the baby burrito days, and you are now holding your head up, smiling and laughing, and you even recognize your mom and dad when you see us. It is so amazing to come into your room and have you look right at me and start to smile.

You and I have been spending quite a bit of time together. Mostly we see each other after 5 PM which unfortunately happens to be your fussy time. Lately we have started the 8 PM bath ritual which you absolutely love. After I have washed you all up, I put one hand behind your head and you just love to swim and float around the tub. The other great thing about this is that you come out pretty tired and ready for a little milk and then off to bed. We do not get to see each other again until between 2 and 3 AM. We hang out for your middle of the night feeding and watch movies off Netflix while you eat, or lately we watch CLE online so that your daddy can keep his law license. Recently we began watching Clockwork Orange, which I have never seen, and I immediately regretted watching it with you. I think the next movie will be a Pixar flick because we are rapidly approaching the time when everything is going to have to be Langley appropriate. This also causes me great concern considering that your daddy curses just about every other word. Please don’t hold it against me if your first word is fffff.....fudge......well, you know what I mean.

We are getting ready to transition your mom back to work full-time/part-time, and while I am really excited about having your mom back to take some of the load off me at work, I know she is not pleased to have to leave you. Luckily you have your Gran in town and she is going to take time off from work to take care of you on Mondays, Tuesdays and Wednesdays. Even with this handy arrangement it is likely that you will be at least partially raised in a criminal defense law office. I think you will have the opportunity to hear and see some pretty interesting things. I hope you will ask plenty of questions and that I will think of some way to explain things to you. I also picture you being a pretty talkative kid and can envision you giving repeat clients lectures about shoplifting, drinking and their continued drug use.

Oh, by the way - you had your first Red Sox jersey on the other day and then laid on the couch with me and watched your first Red Sox game. This was a very proud moment for me and you actually seemed to be pretty interested in the game. (Note from Mamadog: Puh-lease! She just likes the different colors on the giant TV screen. Once she realizes she's watching baseball, she'll be all "MOM!! Can I please hang out with YOU instead?!")

You must know that one of the best things about you is mornings when you are sleepy but not quite ready to go to sleep on your own, and you fall asleep on my chest. I lay in the bed with the covers wrapped around the two of us and Mommy and all the dogs are in the bed too and you just lay quietly and sleep.

You went on your first trip to Las Vegas and did really well on the drive and also loved staying in the hotel room. We are being pretty ambitious for your next outing and taking you to Flagstaff for a weekend of camping in an RV with all four dogs at Pickin’ in the Pines bluegrass festival. You are a pretty adventurous and portable little tike, and I think you are up to this challenge.

You have been the greatest little baby even when you drive me to the breaking point and the verge of insanity with your high pitched screams. I could not be happier to have you in our life and can’t wait to see what you will do next. I love you.

Love, Daddy

champagne thursday: toast #46

yesterday, bryan and i celebrated our 3rd wedding anniversary. and how did we celebrate? did we take my mom up on her offer to watch the baby while we went out to a nice, romantic dinner? oh no, no. we spent it with someone who decided to have an attack of the fusses during a business outing that made it impossible for me to want to drop her off at gran's house in such a state. but she looked like this when she was doing it, so how could we be mad?

random photo monday: what everybody's thinking

our thanks to anicca for the perfect onesie...

things i love wednesday: father/daughter bonding

i walked in on this scene the other day and had to shoot some photos of bryan commiserating with LP.

random photo monday: sweet babydog

this photo just kills me.

random photo monday: naughty water

we volunteer at a local no-kill dog shelter, and the last time i worked a shift there, i found this sitting on a chair in the breezeway.

langley at two months

dear little boognish,

last sunday you turned eight weeks old, and your grandparents were here to witness it. i swear, in just the one week they were visiting, you managed to become a completely different baby than the week before. you’re smiling on purpose more often, you’re cooing, and sweet jesus, are you gaining control of that bobble head of yours. we barely have to support it anymore - you just wobble it all around like a little champ. it’s incredible. we even started putting you in your bumbo, although we have to keep our hands at the ready in case you decide to try to whip your head around a bit too much.

a few days after your two-month milestone, we took you out on the lake on a pontoon boat. with malichai. and five adults who were drinking alcohol. i know! we are crazy. about five minutes in, we thought we’d made possibly the worst decision of our lives, but once we got out on the open water, you seemed pretty cool with the whole situation. there you were, just hanging out on a boat in your diaper, lounging in your bassinet and taking bottles from whoever wasn’t swimming with the dog at the moment. your dad took you into the lake with him, although thankfully he didn’t try to make you swim. but you seemed to enjoy getting your feet wet and having water dripped on you a bit. later, you even let us go to a restaurant and eat lunch without making a scene. you were truly a great little traveler, which stands to reason considering your mother’s childhood and the fact that you were forced onto several cramped planes, including some rather scary turboprop planes, while you were cooking in the womb just so your mama could go see a band play in virginia.

the past few weeks, you have grown increasingly interested in the ceiling in general and ceiling fans in particular. your grandpa decided this must be because you are an alien from a planet far away where ceiling fans are your gods. whenever you would start to fuss, grandpa would just carry you into the living room and point out the fan, and there the two of you would worship for a good half hour. i think maybe grandpa’s been hanging out with your dad and me a bit too long, making up ridiculous back stories like that. i can’t even imagine the things you will try to tell your classmates and teachers someday. i have a feeling we might spend a lot of time in parent-teacher conferences trying to explain why our daughter told susie that her barbie doll was once a taiwanese hooker with a major heroin addiction but later went on to teach blind lepers how to make lace doilies for aged carnies in retirement homes. i hope those teachers have a great sense of humor!

love,

mamadog

ps - you’re wearing some of your six-month clothes already. please stop growing up so fast!

champagne thursday: toast #45

ah, the grandparents. they've given bryan and me a nice little vacation by coming out for a visit and doing so much with the baby. things like tiring her out to the point that she sleeps for 7 1/2 hours straight, without so much as a peep.

random photo monday: aiko's haircut

aiko was shorn like a sheep the other day, and she's never been happier...until her dad used that phrase, and her poor little ears perked up and she looked all expectant, and we realized that she still remembered the word for her favorite toy when she was a puppy. her guts-ripped-out-many-many-moons-ago favorite toy. sorry, aiko.

overheard in the whitney house: commercials

so there is a ford ad running right now that starts out with a guy talking in a perfectly commercial-y and generally non-incendiary manner. my husband apparently took offense and thought the ad required a much nastier plot line.

commercial: people ask me, "mike, why ford? why now? and i say..."

bryan: "because I SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH."

for some reason, his response to this commercial cracked us up for at least a half hour. then it came up in a text conversation about the baby.

bryan: "she hates to poop."

me: "she is not poop's biggest fan."

bryan: "poop is not on her baby facebook friends list."

me: "people ask her 'why poop? why now? and she's all 'i'll shit in your mouth!'"

champagne thursday: toast #44

i'm kind of sad that this post isn't the 43rd champagne thursday toast because it goes out to my mom, and 43 is her favorite number. i thank my mother so much for the way she always reassured me that giving birth does not necessarily play out the way it is consistently conveyed in movies and television. she always told me not to believe all the screaming and cursing and overall hellishness of the whole process, and i cannot thank her enough for it because, even though i was still fairly terrified of going through it, i had her calming words to make me believe that it wasn't going to be that bad.

it's awful what women do to each other. when you're pregnant, or even talking about wanting to become pregnant, there is no shortage of women who will bombard you with horror stories of 36-hour labors and white-knuckle pain. and i'm talking about women who weren't even crazy/brave enough to go without epidurals or any kind of traditional pain management. stories like these, and even those of women who went through natural labor, are just the grown-up version of the terrible ways girls in middle school treat each other.

i'm not going to pretend to know what it's like to be dilated beyond 4 cm without the benefit of an epidural. i have no idea how bad contractions get after that point, or what it feels like to be stitched up afterward without pain medication, but stories like those told by dooce here, here and here are the reason that so many women have panic attacks about labor and delivery. i'm not trying to invalidate her experience in any way - i'm sure it is extremely painful to go through the process without an epidural. i'm certain of it. but the drama with which these kinds of stories are told is outrageous. it's like when someone tells you that they were in labor with their child for 27 hours. yes, okay, you were, but how much of that time were you actually in any discomfort? most women don't even know they're in labor for a good portion of it, and they only find out later when it had actually started. my water broke at 9 pm one night, and langley was born at 12:33 pm the next day, so yes, i was in labor for at least 15 hours. but i didn't feel any contractions until well after midnight, and i didn't have contractions that were all that unpleasant until after 5 am. i have no idea how long the hours after that would have felt had i opted for a natural delivery, and i don't want to know. i can say that up until 8:30 am, the most uncomfortable part of my labor was getting the epidural, although it wasn't because the epidural itself was painful, only that the doctor administering it had trouble inserting it and compounded the problem by trying to be funny about it. after that, the most uncomfortable part of the delivery was the "stretching" process, which, even with pain medication, was not something i would repeat just for funsies. i did not scream during the delivery, and i did not wish death upon my husband. i did not have 12 people rubbing my back, and i did not once think that i couldn't get through the delivery.

i say all this not to belittle anyone who had painful labor experiences, only to reassure other women that not every horrible thing you hear about giving birth is true or is going to happen to you. if hearing someone tell a far less dramatic version of the usual war stories eases the anxiety of just one woman the way my mother's stories helped to ease mine, i'll be happy.

random photo monday: angry baby

bryan and i laughed about this photo for a good 10 minutes. some people would think we were mean for laughing at a baby that is clearly upset about something. we just call it trying to stay sane in the wake of a fussy baby.

overheard in the whitney house: even more animal comparisons

the following is a list of nicknames and various descriptors for langley and her actions:

• babydog (obviously)
• ferreting (when she's rooting around for the boob or the bottle)
• bird mouth (when she's opening her mouth to signal she wants to eat but isn't "ferreting")
• moose ears (when she throws her hands up above her ears, making them look like antlers)
• turtle face (when she scrunches her neck down and then stretches it out; usually signifies a "movement")
• chipmunk cheeks (seriously, look at these cheeks)
• kangaroo feet (when she's kicking around like a mad woman, usually while we're trying to change her)
• monkey lips (which also look a lot like fish lips)
• bulldog (when she's got such serious boogs that it sounds like she can barely breathe)

clearly, we have problems in this family...

things i love wednesday: proofreaders

ah, yes. that elusive day of the year, the 31th of july. seriously, people? you had seven words to proofread. oy.

turning a corner?

i don't want to type this too loudly with the babydog sleeping in the next room, but last night, i was able to put her down at about midnight, papa fed and changed her at about 3:30 (although it was a difficult process), and she woke up again when we did around 7. granted, we normally would have liked to have gone to bed earlier, but if she keeps this up, she's definitely getting a car for her 16th birthday.

random photo monday: who needs a bassinet?

i plan to carry this photo around in my wallet and throw it in the faces of those who ask us if we're getting rid of our dogs now that we have a baby. you know, especially that dangerous pit bull who will surely eat her one day.

squinchy goes to bat

overheard in the whitney house: baby development

"i'm just saying, why can't our baby be at least as good as a giraffe?"

my husband said this when wondering why it takes humans so long to be self-sufficient. apparently, our baby is not as good as a giraffe because she didn't come out of the womb walking. god, i love him.

champagne thursday: toast #43

i highly doubt my husband has any idea why it's so important to me to breastfeed the baby as much as possible, particularly since i don't even know why i've become so obsessive about it, but i want to thank him sincerely for trying so hard to help me with it. i couldn't ask for a better partner in life, and he proves it more and more every day.

things i love wednesday: morning light

even though i'm exhausted, i always love walking into langley's room for her 6 am snack.

(alternate title for this polka dot-heavy photo = where's waldo?)

random photo monday: the fort

this dog bed is wedged in between two couches. the dogs love hiding there, and lately the kittendog has joined in. this is a rare moment of quiet between teagan and cadence. minutes later, that damn cat was back to climbing door jambs and throwing herself against the glass of the back door.

langley at one month: the photos

this is what you looked like the day you turned one month old. in the first one, i think you might be signaling something about stealing third:

but this is your go-to sleeping position:

even with a little case of infant acne, who couldn't love this beautiful face?